A Meal of Biblical Proportions

Going out in style; this is how we roll. As if we hadn’t already spent enough money on this weekend trip, Seth and I decided we couldn’t miss the opportunity to dine at a restaurant known for its “Biblical Israeli Cuisine”. And the fact that it’s famous for its tasting menus of seven, 11, or 15 courses made it that much more enticing. Eucalyptus is located just outside of the Jaffa Gate on the western edge of the Old City with an outdoor patio that looks out over the Tower of David and the Ottoman era walls. http://www.the-eucalyptus.com/

Upon arrival we started out with a local Israeli beer as the waiter explained the tasting menu options. He described in great detail what the 11 course meal consisted of, and when Seth asked about the 15 course option his response was classic: “Oh, well actually it’s everything on the menu.” I could sense the trepidation in his voice and asked if he did not really recommend the 15 course monstrosity. “Oh, it’s very good, it’s just a LOT of food.” To which Seth replied, “Go hard or go home.”

I won’t bore anyone here with a course-by-course description (my foodie friends can ask when I return and I’ll explain in better detail), but what I will say though is that while it was called a 15 course meal, many of the courses actually had multiple dishes. It was literally everything that was on the menu. It was beyond over the top. It was gluttony at its finest. The food is based on ingredients and recipes common during biblical times, but has been ratcheted up in gourmet style. The world renown chef, Moshe Basson has won international critical acclaim, was knighted in Italy for his contribution to the resurrection of the biblical kitchen, and won the international couscous festival in San Vito Lo Capo, Italy for his fluffy, delicate, melt-in-your-mouth couscous preparation.

Okay, I can’t resist; some highlights: Carrots with sesame seeds; hand-picked olives from near the Sea of Galilee; red lentil soup; cabbage leaves stuffed with meat and rice; roasted eggplant with tahini and pomegranate sauce; figs stuffed with chicken in balsamic/pomegranate reduction; Mediterranean tuna ceviche; mutton stew baked in a clay pot; King Solomon couscous; and tahini and date honey, that somehow tasted like peanut butter, sitting between a wine poached pear with almond cream and vanilla bean gelato with hibiscus flower sauce.

Chef Basson came out to our table on a couple of occasions, obviously to see for himself the always excessive, voracious Americans attempting to eat every item on his menu. I don’t have to tell you that the food was fabulous. I’m definitely one for appreciating memorable meals and this one ranks up at the top of my all-time list simply because of the ‘memorability’ factor; biblical cuisine at its finest, in Jerusalem nonetheless.

Due to the fact that the border crossing at the Allenby Bridge closes at 1pm on Fridays and Saturdays we had decided to stay the night on Saturday and get up very early on Sunday morning to fly back to Amman and go to work. We had arraigned for a cab at 4:30am to take us to the airport just outside of Tel Aviv. When we met the driver outside of the Damascus Gate we realized that it was not a cab, but rather just a friend of the hotel owner, driving his own car. Before we got into the car the hotel owner who had walked us out to meet his friend told us not to ‘tell anyone about the driver.’ This seemed strange and suspicious but became clearer later that morning.

The Tel Aviv airport is about an hour from Jerusalem and the ride there was smooth enough. However, before entering the airport, right at the exit from the freeway, there is a toll booth station with multiple lanes. I’m watching all of the cars passing through but notice that no one is paying any money and there’s no EasyPass either. Then I realize that it’s a checkpoint and before I know it we’re being forced off the road at gunpoint by Israeli guards with machine guns. The driver calmly pulled over just after the ‘tolls’ and the soldiers forced us out of the car. The next 30 plus minutes were a bit nerve-racking as we were each detained in separate rooms, all of our bags were searched, and the driver’s car was literally taken apart. Sitting in a tiny room behind a metal table with a small light overhead was like something out of a movie. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong except let a Muslim drive me to the airport, but the uncertainty of it all and the risk of missing our flight had me a bit wound up and I was sweating pretty profusely. After checking our belongings they slapped stickers all over everything to show that we had been searched, scanned and humiliated. I figured this would make our security checks in the airport itself go that much more smoothly. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

They finally let us go and our driver dropped us off at the departures terminal. I felt bad for the guy as he had the look of a defeated man, but I suppose he’s probably used to that sort of treatment. We were at the airport now, two American guys with American passports, who had already undergone everything except a body cavity search, we’re all set, right? You just can’t imagine. Before we even entered the sliding glass doors of the Ben Gurion airport we were stopped and asked where we were going and forced to show our passports. We had to answer a list of questions about where we had been and how long we had stayed, if we knew anyone, etc. Then, once inside, before even reaching the first of many, many security screening points we were asked to go with some security personnel to answer some more questions. They didn’t like the fact that we had small day packs for luggage and we evidently looked like some pretty big trouble-making, badass Americans. After a game of 20 questions we sent our bags through another x-ray. As if that wasn’t enough, we then had to meet with a person who once again took everything out of our bags. ( I should mention at this point that 80% of the security screeners are under the age of 18. It's hard to take someone seriously when they look like someone staring in an episode of Glee.) Then even made us unpack the souvenirs that we had wrapped up in bubble wrap, Styrofoam, etc., completely destroying the packing. And they weren’t sorry about it at all. I guess the 17 stickers all over my stuff that had been screened twice before wasn’t enough. More stickers were slapped on things and my bag was beginning to look like a collage. At this point it was time to check in and get my ticket. That’s right; we had yet to even check in. Technically the security hadn’t even started!

There were two more screening points and more stickers. Typical of airport screening that I’m used to except you don’t’ have to take off your shoes (who thinks that’s the stupidest thing anyway?) and everything gets wiped down and tested for explosives. Once again, the bag is emptied and all items checked with all electronics (phones, chargers, cameras) put in a separate bin and screened separately. It’s quite a production and it’s a good thing that the airport’s size doesn’t allow for millions of people to travel through it each day because it just simply couldn’t happen. The recommended two hours before a flight that one must arrive at the airport was truly needed. Every last second was needed actually, as we barely made it to the gate just as the flight was boarding.

I’ve never been on such a short flight. The ‘shuttle’ from Boston to New York is an eternity compared to this. I’m pretty sure they didn’t even put the landing gear up. Back in Amman in about 20 minutes, we freshened up at the hotel and made it into the office almost before some of the local staff. As you can see from this 12 page dissertation I’ve written here, the trip to Jerusalem was quite an adventure and an experience. I’m glad I did it, but it’s a once in a lifetime thing. Fortunately I only have one lifetime.